A New Interpretation of the History Channel

As my regular readers know, I ran out of patience with the so-called  “History Channel” a long time ago. However, I may have been wrong…the following is an careful analysis of that channel’s programming which seems to put it all into focus. Thanks to our newest contributor, Justin Eubank:

If you’ve ever watched the History Channel for 12 hours straight you’ll soon discover that approximately 450,000 years ago aliens from Nibiru, the Anunaki, landed on Earth looking to mine gold to repair their atmosphere.  They used genetic engineering to make a race of “workers” which is different from slaves because they gave them mathematics, education, and some really cool building techniques.  But the aliens were undecided about what they should reveal and unrest soon led to members of the higher council issuing out specific information to certain individuals and that became the stories of legend in all ancient cultures.  As of present their Visa has expired and they can only observe discreetly behind fast balls of light.

Fast forward to Atlantis where all of this information was stock piled until the great cataclysm that destroyed the island which led to some people making it off the island to establish civilizations in the Americas and Egypt.  The Egyptians kept the knowledge in the hands of the powerful in order to rule and keep the masses ignorant.  This lead to specialized societies/cults/guilds that eventually became the masons.  The masons protected the knowledge and the treasure and were a powerful force for thousands of years.  An off branch of the masons became the Knights Templar who traveled to the Holy Land to retrieve artifacts.  This is also part of the Arthurian Legend in a non-Monty Python sense.  The Knights Templar protected treasure, knowledge, and pilgrims and eventually threatened the Catholic Church and a very insecure French king.  They either tried to bribe the church or were the envy of the powerful.  I’d like to point out that Nostradamus predicted all of this before his actual birth.  The Knights Templar took the treasures/sacred artifacts from the Holy Land and deposited them at St. Clair Castle in Scotland and later moved them to North America in 1362.  The final resting place of the ark of the covenant, holy grail, crucifixion cross, etc is either in the Money Pit on Oak Island, Illinois, or Wisconsin.  At this point the Knights Templar joined forces with their old allies the masons and became a Satanic cult with the purpose of establishing a utopian society in the New World.  They laid dormant until the American Revolution, which was actually a cover to find the lost Templar treasure by the British.  George Washington found the Templar treasure and that was what enabled him to win the American Revolution against great odds.  Since then the power and secret knowledge has passed down only to the elite, rich and powerful families in the U.S. with the purpose of uniting the world under one leader, the antichrist.

This disturbance in dark matter and dark energy (turns out it’s dark matter and dark energy that binds the galaxy together not the Force but you can call it whatever you want) has lead to Aliens from all over the galaxy to investigate our doings which backfired on the aliens because we have really smart reverse engineers that can’t talk about their work and always have to be video taped in shadow.  As of now aliens, or Extraterrestrial Biological Entities as they prefer to be called, are working with our government in secret.  They get to abduct so many humans for experiments and we get access to their technology and text books.  By the way you can pick up some very high quality ancient alien artifacts from your local pawn stars and have them shipped anywhere in the world including the ice roads of Alaska.  Who knows the next tree you cut down in Washington could have some valuable clues as to whereabouts of the Lindberg baby, Amelia Airheart, and Adolf Hitler.

Justin Eubank



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